Birthdays Past
by ConfusedinTime
Summary: Ianto had never bothered much with birthdays.' My attempt at a Ianto birthday fic. Jack/Ianto. My first non-IM fic!


_This one's for a J/I obsessed friend of mine, Sarah A. Here you go, Sarah. Just to prove I can write something out of the IM format. Also to prove I CAN write a fic that isn't choc full of innuendo!...Well, there's a bit. It's hardly noticeable, honest. I couldn't resist. _

_There's a bit of Ianto/Lisa actually. Just a bit. Don't kill me, Sarah!! After writing it I've half made myself like Lisa now, which is odd. _

_The last bit was hell to write. HELL! I think I've warped the characters with my baad use-age. I didn't know whether to make Jack cute...But he came out too cute in my estimation. And I think I went overboard with Ianto's self esteem/time issues. I had fun writing Owen though. For once!! :-)_

_Wow. This is the longest fic I've ever written. Ever. I decided against splitting it into chapters. It didn't fit right. In my opinion, anyways. I'm just hoping the word count doesn't put people off!!_

_Any/all sense of time was gathered from Everything Changes and Fragments. I worked it out at 2 in the morning, so it's most likely all wrong, but it all made sense at the time!! Any mistakes are mine. Aaalll mine! My proof reading skills suck. Who thought I'd miss spellchecker?_

_The end bit of this is set before Reset. Early series 2, but not really any spoilers for S2. Spoilers for Cyberwoman, though. You know, in case you haven't, er, seen it..._

_-_

Ianto had never bothered much with birthdays.

At Canary Wharf, that had suited him just fine, because no one there had bothered with birthdays either - unless you counted Yvonne Hartman's, and no one really did. On her birthday they were all 'given the honour' of gathering in the foyer to sing to her, like being back in primary school. And, because, in his opinion, she had to be the most delusional person in the world, she really believed they all meant it when they wished her a happy birthday.

When it came to his birthday that year, he didn't even realise. He spent the whole morning sorting out files and reports; looking for newly materialized police boxes and mentions in history of men called John Smith.

It was only when Lisa had come up from a meeting and asked him if he had anything special planned that he remembered.

"Er-" He'd frowned. "Not...Not really. I was going to go completely wild and maybe finish cataloguing these files by lunchtime."

"Wow." She'd rolled her eyes. "Don't have too much fun, will you?"

"I'll try." He'd smiled.

She'd given him a look.

"You do know it's your birthday, right?"

He'd glanced over at the calendar on his desk. The nineteenth, already?

"Oh." He'd shrugged. "I must've forgot."

Lisa sighed.

"I don't believe you. Thought you were the only other human in this place!" She'd said. It had been their joke; Lisa was convinced that everyone else had been chipped or de-humanised or something else ridiculous. They certainly acted that way sometimes.

"I am." Another smile. There was something about Lisa that just made him want to smile, not that he'd ever tell anyone that. Especially not her. Not yet, anyway.

"Well, even if you forgot, I didn't." She'd put a box on the table in front of him. "Happy birthday!"

"How did you know it was my birthday?" He'd asked, trying not to sound too suspicious. He thought Lisa liked him - he definitely liked her - but you could never really tell if people were being serious at Torchwood.

"Robert from Personnel owed me a favour, so he let me look at your entry file a few weeks back." She grinned. "Go on, then, aren't you gonna open it?"

He eyed the box like it was an unexploded bomb. Lisa must have seen the look.

"It won't bite, you know." She nudged him, pulling a seat from someone else's desk to sit next to him.

Almost cautiously, Ianto pulled the box towards him and opened it.

It was a watch. A pretty expensive watch, he supposed, not that price mattered to him. He ran a finger over the glass, following the pattern of the tiny array of silver stars on the watch's blue face.

"It's..."

"Engraved," Lisa finished for him, turning it over. It had his name on the back. "I thought if you were unconscious or something, if someone found you then at least they'd know what your name was." At his lack of response she'd continued. "Bit stupid that it's on the back though, yeah? I mean, this way the only way someone's gonna know your name is if they try nicking your watch while you're unconscious!"

In his adult life, Ianto hadn't recieved many personal gifts - he hadn't recieved many gifts at all, if he was completely honest with himself, so to get one from someone he'd only known a matter of months - in Torchwood, no less, was...improbable. He didn't know what to say.

"Phil said you broke your watch the other week when they brought that green thing in for testing," Lisa sounded worried now. "Don't you like it? I mean, you said you liked stars and I thought you might need another-"

"I love it." He caught her eye at last. "It's amazing."

She smiled.

"My Dad...He deals in watches, bracelets, stuff like that. Told him I needed something special."

"Well...Thanks."

"God, this is getting a bit emotional, isn't it?" Lisa joked, pretending to wipe her eyes. "Don't look so surprised, either!" She mock-scolded, waving a finger at him. "Like I wasn't gonna get you anything! We're friends, yeah?"

He'd nodded, smiling back.

Lisa checked her own watch, and sighed.

"Got to get back to that meeting," She complained. "The Doctor, the TARDIS, blah blah blah. If I ever meet this Doctor he better be the most fantastic person on Earth! The way SHE talks about him you'd think he was God or something!"

"There have been some police box sightings, actually, just nearby." Ianto paused, pressing a few keys and bringing up an image of a police box in a car park on his computer screen. "You're not gonna tell her, are you?"

"Course I'm not!" Lisa grinned. "We'll let her stew for a while!"

She checked her watch again, then pulled Ianto into an awkward hug. "See you at lunchtime!" She said before breezing out of the door.

He turned back to his computer, staring at the watch again.

"Oh, and by the way," Lisa had stuck her head around the door. "My birthday's November the thirteenth."

-

He still had the watch two years later, just.

Apparently birthdays weren't commonly acknowledged at Torchwood Three, either. Not conventionally, anyway. The nice tech girl, Toshiko, had sent him a cheerful 'Happy Birthday' email. That annoying doctor, Owen, had made some comment about him finally being a big boy now when he'd been dishing out the morning coffee. The fact that when he'd turned to look at Toshiko for a moment she'd been raising her eyebrows significantly at Owen told him that the doctor hadn't known of his own accord. Even the one called Suzie had looked up from that stupid glove for a moment to wish him many happy returns, although that had been because Jack had prompted her. He wasn't too sure Suzie even knew who he was half of the time; she'd called him Brian, Dave and even Lucy once, on a very late night at the Hub. He assumed they were past colleagues of hers and couldn't help but wonder what had happened to them, his thoughts drifting to the sizeable morgue a few floors down.

Jack had flirted with him shamelessly when he took him his coffee, asking how old he was and telling him he liked his suit; a favourite comment of his.

None of it had mattered to Ianto, although he'd rather that they hadn't mentioned it. Common niceties from them meant he was connected to them in some way, that they saw him as part of their team. Ianto didn't want to be part of their team. They'd know soon enough when Lisa was better that he'd just been using them, and then he'd leave Torchwood and never come back. It was a better plan than what they had, anyway. From what he'd seen so far of Torchwood, you either left with no memory or you worked there until you died. The only reason he'd been able to leave Torchwood One was because almost everyone else had died. The others were bound to work here, underground, until _they_ ended up in the morgue, like the people Suzie mistook him for.

On the pretence of looking something up in the archives, Ianto went down into the lower storeroom to see Lisa.

When he opened the doors, there was always a distinct smell of decay. It had been there since before he'd moved her into there, and stayed, despite the number of times he'd attempted to clean it away. He'd soon come to associate that smell with death and despair.

Like every other day, she was asleep. He liked to think of it as 'asleep' rather than unconscious, although sometimes her eyes were open when she slept. Often, staring into her unresponsive face while he talked and reassured her made him feel like he was talking to a corpse.

Thankfully, today her eyes were closed, and he checked her body levels the way she'd told him to. She seemed to be reacting correctly to the medication, at least. Before he'd sorted out the pills for her, she'd sometimes panic when she woke up, forgetting what had happened.

Now she didn't. In fact, she barely ever woke up at all, so he supposed it was working.

"It's my birthday today," He told her, feeling half childish. "Toshiko sent me a nice email."

"Which...Which one's Toshiko?" Lisa groaned suddenly.

He held her hand.

"The one that's good with computers. Remember? I told you about her."

A pained look flitted across Lisa's face.

"I don't...I can't..."

He bit his lip. There hadn't been anything about memory loss on the side effects of the new tablets.

"It's just the new medication, you'll remember everything soon. Don't make me ask you who the Prime Minister was when you were born." The joke didn't make him feel any better, and the smile he gave her was as plastic as the monitoring equipment stacked around them.

"Don't think I even knew that before, anyway." She gripped his hand, not quite managing to smile.

"Alright, erm..." He paused to fiddle with one of the monitors. "What's your name?"

She grimaced. Whether at the pain or at his question, he couldn't tell.

"Ianto. Do we have to do this every time?" He insisted upon asking her simple questions like that every time she was awake, just to make sure she was still herself. She didn't like it, told him she was still herself. Every time she avoided the questions it made him worry more.

"Come on. I have to check." He stroked her hand with his thumb. "I have to make sure you're still..."

He didn't have to finish the sentence. They both knew what came next.

"Name, did you say?" She whispered. He nodded. "Lisa Hallett." He opened his mouth to speak again, but she cut across him. "My birthday's November the thirteenth. Parents-"

"Shh, it's ok, you're fine, I get it."

His earpiece beeped.

"Hey, Ianto, I'm in the archives, where are you?"

Ianto muttered something under his breath.

"What is it?" Lisa asked, attempting a smile, glad, he assumed, at the change in topic.

"Jack, my boss, he's looking for me." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'm gonna have to go. I'll be back as soon as I can get away, alright?"

"Ianto. C'mon, whatever you're doing can't be that important." Jack called over the comms. He sounded almost taunting.

"Try and get some sleep." Ianto said, his voice barely audible, as if Jack could hear everything.

"Happy birthday," Lisa whispered, already falling asleep again, her eyes closing.

Ianto turned away from her and touched his earpiece.

"I'm just cleaning some of the lower cells, Sir." He stopped, closing his eyes. "Nothing too important. Is there a problem?"

"There's some birthday pizza up here for you, Ianto. Only if you run though, I think Owen's already got at it."

He turned back to look at Lisa's sleeping form.

"I'm on my way, Sir." He told Jack, and left.

-

The year after, things were a lot different.

"Ianto!" Gwen had called out as soon as she'd come through the Tourist Office door in the morning. "Happy birthday!"

"Morning, Gwen," He said. She was carrying a fancy bag and moved around the desk to give him a one armed hug.

She'd pulled away, bestowing the bag upon him.

"It's nothing special. Jack told me you'd like it."

He'd smiled, putting the bag behind the desk.

"Thanks." There was an awkward silence. "I'll open it later, shall I?"

"At lunchtime," Gwen agreed. "I think Jack's planning something, but don't tell him I told you!"

She'd hugged him again, and he'd let her into the Hub.

Checking his emails meant he found another birthday email from Tosh that told him he wasn't allowed his present until she said so. He couldn't help but smile at that. There were several emails from Jack, too, who he hadn't seen all morning.

'Don't even think about going near the coffee machine today,' The first one said. 'I'll rope it off if I have to. Owen's gonna be making the coffee today - I know what you're thinking, but he's using the other coffee machine, and he says his coffee skills have improved since the last time.'

The next one, the subject of which was 'STAY OUT!!1', told him to keep out of the Hub until further notification. There were several more entitled 'Stopwatch', which was a Jack codeword for an email not suitable to be read in front of any of the others. He decided to save those for when he was bored.

He pulled the keyboard towards him to write a reply. His watch clunked against the desk.

He looked at it for a moment, smile fading. Since joining Torchwood Three, he'd had to have it repaired thirteen times. He'd thrown everything else out that might remind him of Lisa, but he couldn't throw the watch. It reminded him of Lisa as she'd been before the battle, back when she'd been human. Everything else had reminded him of her in her final moments, as a cyberwoman.

Lisa would have wanted him to be happy, he supposed. So why did he feel so guilty about it?

The Tourist Office door opened. This time, it was Owen. Without meeting his eye, he gruffly wished him a happy birthday and dumped another bag on the desk.

"Er...Thanks." He said, feeling puzzled. He hadn't expected anything from Owen, of all people.

"Do you want a coffee while I'm down there, tea boy?" He asked, acting like himself again.

Ianto nodded.

"As long as it's not poisonous. Don't use the good coffee beans, either, there are some normal ones in the boardroom, marked with an 'N'. There's cream in the fridge, use that, brown sugar for Toshiko, one sugar for Gwen but for hers use the milk we've got, make sure it's the semi skimmed. Oh, and for Jack you have to use a special-"

Owen held up his hand.

"It's just making coffee! It's not the be all and end all of the Universe, is it?" He complained.

"Not of your universe, no." Ianto said quietly, earning himself an over-exaggerated sigh as Owen turned to enter the Hub.

"I'm not doing this every day, either," He scowled, turning to face Ianto again. "It's just cause today's special, innit?"

Ianto shrugged.

"I don't see it that way."

Owen practically growled at him.

"Christ, you're a bundle of laughs, aren't you?" Was his parting statement before Ianto opened the doors to the Hub for him.

Tosh was the one that brought up Owen's first cup of coffee. Before he could say anything she'd produced a camera from nowhere and taken a picture of him.

"It's Jack's." She said, putting the camera down on the desk. "He wants as many pictures taken as possible of everyone, he says."

"I'm starting to regret buying him that." Ianto sighed. "He's got a blog now, too, so he puts all the pictures online." Even the inappropriate ones, he added silently, remembering the day he'd woken up to the flashing of that camera. Jack had liked the pictures so much he'd posted them by lunchtime, and put printouts in the board room.

Tosh smiled, probably remembering the pictures too, then saw Owen's present on the desk. "Looks like I'm a bit late." She produced a perfectly wrapped square packet from her pocket. "Jack said you'd like it. I wasn't too sure."

"That's what Gwen said." Ianto smiled. "Thanks Tosh."

"Don't open them yet!" She told him. "We're under strict instructions to keep you out of the Hub and make sure you don't open anything."

"What's going on down there?" Ianto asked, trying not to sound too worried.

Tosh wasn't fooled.

"Well, Gwen's just throwing paper everywhere and Owen's tipped coffee beans over all the workstations. Jack's been a bit generous with Myfanwy's feeding sauce and the coffee machine may or may not be intact."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Very funny."

"It's all fine," Tosh reassured him. "Nothing's a mess, they're just decorating." She laughed. "Torchwood style."

Ianto remembered when it had been Tosh's birthday. Jack had had them colouring in inflated disposable gloves with highlighters to stick on the walls.

"Oh God. Disposable gloves?"

"Lots. I think Jack's got a thing for them. Owen's going mad about misuse of medical supplies. When I left Jack and Gwen were attempting to make a banner out of two body bags - Oh, don't worry, they haven't been used," She said at the scandalised look on Ianto's face. "Jack's a bit stressed. I've told him to go out and get balloons and stuff, but he just keeps saying that he likes things better when they're done by hand."

Ianto choked on his coffee at that, but it seemed Tosh hadn't realised what she'd said.

She suddenly put a hand to her ear.

"I'm just with Ianto. No, no, I've not...Have you tried board markers? There's a packet in my desk drawer." A pause. "Have you tried the cupboard? Right, fine."

She moved her hand from her ear.

"I've got to go, Gwen's having trouble with the banner."

"See you in a bit." He said, letting her through to the Hub.

Half an hour later, after having survived two more cups of Owen's coffee (and he had to admit, it wasn't as bad as the gelatinous mix Owen had once tried to fob off as coffee), he got the 'all clear' email from Jack, which basically read as:

'Get your sexy ass down here! J xxx'

Never being one to defy orders, he made his way down into the Hub, somewhat apprehensively. All this being made a fuss off was practically alien territory for Ianto, and he dreaded to think what had been happening in the half an hour he'd been kept away.

The first things he saw when he entered through the cog door were the body bags. They'd taken on the form of a giant banner strung from Jack's balcony that read 'Happy Birthday!'

That was before Jack grabbed him and pulled him into a hug.

There was the flash of a camera as Jack finally released him.

"Awww." Tosh said, showing the picture to Gwen.

Despite his blushing, Ianto only had eyes for Jack.

"What's all this for?" He asked, as Tosh took more pictures.

Owen sighed.

"I told you he'd be like this, didn't I? Maybe tomorrow you can help work him through his self-esteem issues."

"I don't-" Ianto began, but Jack cut across him.

"It's your _birthday_." He said, as if Ianto hadn't realised.

"I know, but-"

"Oh shut up and come here!" Tosh forced the camera upon Gwen and gave Ianto a hug. The camera promptly got thrown to Owen as Gwen decided to join Tosh in the hugging.

"You know you want to, Owen." Jack laughed. Owen was stood with his arms folded, shaking his head.

"Ok, ok, guys, let the poor man go. If you guys can carry on in the boardroom, Ianto can-"

"Shag you in the Archives?" Owen interrupted, smirking.

"You. Go." Gwen said sternly to him, finally letting Ianto out of the stranglehold she'd had him in. "Make coffee." Owen left, swearing under his breath about his mistreatment.

"We'll sort it all out." Gwen smiled, and her and Tosh disappeared in the general direction of the new boardroom.

"Don't wait up!" Jack called after them.

They'd barely gone when he started laughing.

"The look on your face then was priceless!" He grinned. "I'll print you copies of the pictures later, shall I?"

"As long as Owen doesn't get hold of them." Ianto spoke at last. "I'd rather not have pictures of us sent to UNIT again. Remember what happened last time?"

Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Commander Mason was impressed with your flexibility, if I remember rightly." Jack leered at him.

"I'm not allowed to accompany you to UNIT Conferences now, either." It was Ianto's turn to smirk. "The Commander seemed to think I might be a distraction to 'more important matters'."

"Yeah, because I really needed those mental images!" Owen called from the coffee machine's raised platform. "Keep your voices down, will you?"

"Get back to work!" Jack said half heartedly. "So," He continued, not bothering to lower his voice. "Happy birthday."

Ianto smiled.

"Thanks."

"You did remember what today was, didn't you?" Jack asked, folding his arms.

"It wasn't the first thing to cross my mind, no." Ianto admitted.

Jack tutted.

"You only get so many birthdays, Ianto. You should enjoy them while you can."

Ianto sighed, reaching forwards to pull at one of the buttons on Jack's coat.

"What about you?" He asked. "Unlimited birthdays."

"You don't really enjoy them as much when you've had lots of them." Jack said. "It's better to have few and enjoy all of them than to have too many and get bored of them."

Ianto moved further into the Hub to perch on Tosh's workstation. Jack followed.

"A birthday's just a passage of time. Just..." Something about the look on Jack's face made him falter.

"Where are you going with this?" Jack frowned.

"I like being in control of things." Ianto began. He'd never really addressed this before. "But you can't control time. You of all people should know that. A birthday's just the Universe's way of reminding me that I'm...not in control. That I've got less time." He paused, looking at his shoes. "With you."

Jack pulled him into another hug. This one was different, and Ianto leaned into it, closing his eyes.

"That's all the more reason to enjoy stuff while you can." Jack murmured as he let Ianto go. "If I went around letting time bother me I'd have probably had a mental breakdown way back."

Ianto smiled.

"Anyway!" The sudden exclamation denoted a subject change, and Ianto couldn't help but feel supremely relieved. "Gwen's planning something present-and-cake related in the boardroom. Then we're having the rest of the afternoon off, and I'm taking you out tonight. I can give you my present then."

"That sounds...interesting." Ianto said with another smile that wasn't quite as genuine as the first one.

"Don't look like that." Jack said, in Boss Mode for a split second. Then his tone softened. "Don't think about the future. Let it take care of itself. And today, we can start enjoying the time we've still got."

Ianto nodded his agreement, and, ignoring the clattering of cups that signified the imminent arrival of Owen, he leaned forwards to give Jack a kiss.


End file.
